you're my cup of tea

By Helena Natanael - Thursday, February 04, 2016

Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.
- Liam Neeson

I was not believing in love, again. I left a guy that became a knight that helped me with my works because I just wasn't have feelings for him. I also was in a frienemies condition with a guy that I used to love but turned out to create big trust issues with me lately. I knew love existed, but somehow I thought it probably forgot to come by into my life. Everything was perfect for anyone else but me. I felt that something was missing in my life and I couldn't find it.

Though I was dying in the circumstances, I tried not to let down anyone. But that's not working, even I created wounds in myself and other. I learned that without inner peace, you can't do anything. You can't. Then I happened to read that quote from Liam Neeson. I said to myself "I am not going to let myself in pain, anymore".

My mom told me to forgive but not to forget, so you couldn't be fooled twice. Seemed like I misunderstood it and took it as "not forgiving at all". I still can't get it, how can you forgive someone without not forgetting their faults? Because if you still remember their faults, those anger and disappointments stay still in your heart and mind. And for me, if I want to have peace and forgive, I have to forget. And I finally understand that forgiving is about giving peace to you, not just about you are right and they are wrong. People may call us foolish, but the most foolish person might be the happiest one. 

I'm feeling like a fool every time I remember my love story. We both are like asymptote line, we can get closer and closer but never meant to be together. But he's my cup of tea, at least he was. Now, as we don't speak anymore, his existence starts to fade between my schedule. I also get myself busy towards other things, yes you can call it as my denial of his memory. I don't wanna sit in the corner and always be remembered by his sweet things. I'm letting you go, as my past love. But I made promise not to wave goodbye to you, I will try my best to work our friendship, keeping it in the best way it could be. If you read this, please understand that I was having a rough time, adapting to live without someone I really care.. but you are my cup of tea, and always are.

Romwe shirt - Charlotte Russe tank top - Nevada Jeans -  HerVelvetVase heels

Hi and hi. After all these months I post about my outfit again! I have thought about abandoning this blog and do my works in college, but everytime I have spare time, I always find myself writing love stories and taking pictures again, to be posted here. I can't express how I like writing beautiful sentences. Maybe I should write a novel? hahaha it was my childhood dream and I dunno if I can make it happen. Now, I am positioned at a critical position in my student organization. I can't easily say no and have myself a lazy time, because they need me. It's also out of my mind to get this position. I just volunteering and helping in the events that held by the organization, but one day, out of blue, I was chosen to have this position. Doing things that you love, can make you go far..

And this post actually was for the Christmas outfit! haha look at the green and red there! however I was too busy managing my "job" in organization, college works, and lately, my own entrepreneur project, so this post was suspended until earlier Feb, ahaha. I'll write more about things that I'm working on, soon! So excited to share about my project with you all :)

Till we meet again, fellas! Believe me I'll get myself back here in every spare time that I have :)

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