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July 7, 2016

Clean

 

We often fall in love with ideas. Idea that she/he is the one. Idea that what she/he does, is for us. Idea that she/he has a pure white heart. Idea that our reality may be similar to korean drama. And when those ideas don't become reality, we get upset.

I have to admit that the last time he asked me to accompany him somewhere, gave me difficulties to sleep. I felt too happy, to leave reality. A simple text from him, able to make my chin up. Silly pics of him, filled up my phone's gallery. I was too drowned in this 'ideas of him' until I realize he might be doing this not for me, but himself. He might ask me to accompany him not because he wanted to spend time with me, but to make him feel not alone. He might send silly pics of him not only for me, but to his other friends too. He might text me not to catch up with me, but to shoo away his boredom. The way I thought I was treated special by him, may just ordinary things for him.

June 21, 2016

Angel in Disguise


She closed her eyes. The silence sang lullaby straight into her ears. She fell into deep sleep right away, forgetting the never-ending battle between her logic and her feeling everytime her conciousness was up. She thought the overdose amount of antidepressants that flew within her veins would help to let go the sore in her chest, but it wasn't. She wished that she would never open her eyes again, but she got herself breathing on the next morning. With the sorrow that had consumed sparkles in her eyes, she gazed to the window near her bed and whispered to herself, "can I just be happy?".

February 29, 2016

Leap of Faith


The day I met you is the day I believe I was lucky. I was keeping myself busy on my phone in the corridor and you accidentally dropped your papers. Lots of papers. Ah, reckless boy. I got up from my seat and helped you to clean the mess. You looked tired. I offered myself to help you bring those gigantic load of papers to place you should bring it. With a thin smile, you made up your glasses and say "yes please, help me bring it to my car if you don't mind". It was a lucky day, luckiest day I guess. We didn't talk much, but when we reached your car, you asked if you can text me or be a friend in a chat application. That's when all of these things started.